because it’s hard to watch people destroy themselves «

because it’s hard to watch people destroy themselves

16Nov07

tonight B.’s parents come to town. working all week means the apartment is a mess, and for once i really don’t care.

they are nice folks. we will eat good food and watch a few movies. they will bring yet more things for their son, things for which we don’t have room in our wee little apartment but he wants and they think he needs and whatever it’s fine.

what i am not looking forward to is the inevitable presence of excessive alcohol. B.’s father will arrive, set down his bags, say hello, and promptly unpack a giant bottle of vodka and pour himself a drink. or worse, he’ll arrive with one in hand. his lovely wife, with whom i get along very well, will probably have a drink too, because that is her husband’s way – to offer everyone else a chance to partake in his vice so that he does not have to suffer the guilt of killing himself slowly alone.

my initial urge is to grab the bottle and pour it out down the sink. to make sure there are no available ice cubes and no clean glasses. the drinking is a constant thing, and eventually the smell of it will permeate every corner of the apartment and an empty glass or two will be forgotten out on the balcony. i will spend the weekend muttering “jackass” in my mind every time i hear another round clink and slosh into the glass. B. will quietly accept this state of things, as he’s seen it much worse from a very young age. we’ll all keep our mouths shut and pretend nothing is wrong.

good times.